Category Archives: relations

Blame and criticism – Don’t blame me because it might hurt you

 How does it feel when someone blames you? Usually, when someone blames you, you feel heavy, hurt or you become unhappy. You get hurt because you resist the blame. Outside you may not resist, but inside when you resist it hurts you. When someone blames you, you usually blame them back or put up a resistance inside yourself. 

    A blame takes away some negative karma from you. If you understand this and don’t put up a resistance and feel happy about it, then your karma goes away. Outside you may resist, but inside if you don’t resist, and feel happy, “Oh, good, somebody is there to blame me and take some negative karma,” you will feel immediately lighter. The way to deal with blame is through patience and faith. Faith that truth will always triumph and things will get better. 
    Whatever work you do, there will be someone to find fault. Keep working without losing your enthusiasm and spirit. A wise man by his very nature will keep doing good work. His attitude does not depend on someone’s praise or blame. To uplift your spirit and save your mind from blaming, you need to judge your company. Your company can pull you up or down. The company that drags you towards doubt, blame, complaints, anger, and desires is bad company. 
The company that pulls you up towards joy, enthusiasm, service, love, trust and is good.
An ignorant person says, “Don’t blame me because it hurts me.” An enlightened one says “Don’t blame me because it might hurt you.” This is a beautiful point. Someone warns you not to blame them because it will hurt them and they will do s o m e t h i n g harmful to you out of revenge. On the other hand, an e n l i g h t e n e d one asks not to blame because of compassion. Demand and blame destroy relationships. So, you should know how to praise others and uplift a situation instead of blaming or finding fault. Uplifting the other should be your commitment. Then you are the right person for anybody. Everybody will love you when you don’t hurt them intentionally. 

    You are not here to blame or criticise. Criticism can come from two kinds of people. When they are narrow-minded, then they criticise out of their ignorance. Or they really want to bring something good in you. If their criticism is coming from a space of improving you, thank them for their compassion. You can improve since their criticism makes you realise your mistake. If it is coming from a space of putting you down, be compassionate and just laugh at them. In either case, you do not have to worry about criticism. 

    Nindak neare rakiya angan kuti shava,bin pani sabun bina nirmal kare suhay. The great Indian Saint Kabirdas has said that keep someone who criticises you close by, that will keep your house, your mind clean — without the need of soap and water. If everybody around keeps praising you, they may not show you your shortcomings. The people who criticise are authentic since they are pouring out their heart. You need to be able to give and take constructive criticism. An educated person will neither shy away from criticism nor will he shun the critique. The measure of your maturity depends on how you handle criticism. Ability to take criticism is a measure of one’s inner strength. 

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Happy Friendship Day!




Ye na ho to, kya phir, bolo yeh zindagi hai

This is an amazing song by KK! I love it

Happy Friendship Day to you!

~~First Sunday of August every year is Friendship Day:)~~

Keep smiling 🙂

Thus speaks The Bible about the warmest of all bonds—friendship. The Bible, the most primary text of the western civilization, reflects upon friendship as the bond that forms the foundation to human faith, trust
and companionship. There are innumerable tales from the Old Testament as well as the New Testament about the value of friendship and how true friendship is a treasure to unearth. Both the versions make a difference between the two broad meanings of friendship—one is a mere acquaintance, the other is a more affectionate relation. These stories and examples have passed into western literary and cultural realms.

In the Old Testament Abraham is called the “friend of God” because of the intimacy of his relations. God speaks to Moses face to face “as a man…unto his friend” (Ex 33:11). The romantic friendship of Ruth and
Naomi, the devotion of the subordinate Hushai for David, or the mutual relation between David and Jonathan—the Old Testament is replete with these interesting tales of friendship.

In the New Testament, the relationship between Jesus and his disciples is the most primal example of how human friendship can constantly grow.

From being teacher and disciple to lord and servant their relationship finally grew to an unparalleled friendship.

Lord Krishna and Sudama, Shri Ram and Shri Hanuman….. the best of friends….

n never to forget Calvin n Hobbes… and Jai Veeru from Sholay 😀

and here’s an interestig link….. err.. well more apt to d valentine’s day :D;) but putting on request from a previous posty:)

A date!

A lovely fwd…..

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.

She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife w anted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

“What’s wrong, are you well,” she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.

“I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.

“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting”.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,

I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said.

“Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

How was your dinner date ?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “ I LOVE YOU!” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

**********

Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent. Here’s hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow.

Sometimes….

Just being there is ALL!

What is the single most important element in avoiding and resolving conflicts in professional environment?

socho…..socho…..

Ans: Communication

Well.. whether professional/personal…. communication is d single most important element!

sms:
Any one can love a rose, but its difficult to love a leaf…..
Don’t love someone who is beautiful… but love someone who makes your life beautiful!

Waiting for sunrise!

Waiting for sunrise!


There is no stillness like waiting, and

there is no bigger a test of love than waiting!

Waiting for the mahatma…. Have you read it by any chance?

Awesome! Express Yourself

Airtel – value of human expressions – simply simply outstanding!
Nigaahe nigaho se mila kar to dekho,
Dil i baat zubaan par la kar to dekho…..suppabh!

Communicate, Express Yourself!

Before Its too late!

The Dumbest thing 1

The Dumbest thing is to…..
…..is to waste your time 😛

This might sound glib, but two people especially friends, relatives, or partners not talking to one another over a mutually perceived slight, is a complete waste of time.

Obviously it follows, that the longer they remain incommunicado and persona non grata, vis- a-vis each other, the more time they must be wasting.

Yet people are capable of speding years. even tens of them, and often close to or including a lifetime, that’s left to them without resuming any form of relationship with the other.
When and if they manage to get away successfully, it;’s because each believes the other is to blame without thinking that it takes two wrongs to make a third.

So, whose time is being wasted?

Clearly, not the rest of the world’s because that has its own demands to deal with

Clearly, not that of one’s immediate folks and kin since they too eventually abdicate any concern they might have initially harboured.

What’s clear, in fact, is such people are just wasting their own time. Not that they have an unlimited time in store!

One way to look at it is to reckon the futility of lost opportunity. Relationships can be rich in the responses they evoke – not just trite stuff about sharing and caring, although those are there too and there’s no getting away from that; but the prerogative of hidden potential which can only translate in to new experiences.

And what are new experiences except chances to augment and improve the quality of life? Solitary confinement works (or doesn’t depending on you’re your point of view) precisely because of this: cut-off from the communication and forced to remain suddenly alone in a universe.

The greater waste of time that happens here however is generally overlooked or not even considered. That’s the time which got used up in the process of establishing the original relationship.

Where alienated offsprings are concerned, it was the time spent growing up together;

For estranged mates, it could be a long love affair; I case of separated friends, a long time consuming development period.

So, a time might come and one might ask, “Why the heck did I waste time to begin with it at all?” In other words, no apology is too late to render, or accept, without a sense of victory or loss.

Well, endings might be beginnings to new events, but what about holding onto already existing relationships? It takes a toll on one’s mental calibre to keep up a relation loving and blossoming and up.

Courtesy – some article I read by some mukul, n me:)

The Dumbest thing 1

The Dumbest thing is to…..
…..is to waste your time 😛

This might sound glib, but two people especially friends, relatives, or partners not talking to one another over a mutually perceived slight, is a complete waste of time.

Obviously it follows, that the longer they remain incommunicado and persona non grata, vis- a-vis each other, the more time they must be wasting.

Yet people are capable of speding years. even tens of them, and often close to or including a lifetime, that’s left to them without resuming any form of relationship with the other.
When and if they manage to get away successfully, it;’s because each believes the other is to blame without thinking that it takes two wrongs to make a third.

So, whose time is being wasted?

Clearly, not the rest of the world’s because that has its own demands to deal with

Clearly, not that of one’s immediate folks and kin since they too eventually abdicate any concern they might have initially harboured.

What’s clear, in fact, is such people are just wasting their own time. Not that they have an unlimited time in store!

One way to look at it is to reckon the futility of lost opportunity. Relationships can be rich in the responses they evoke – not just trite stuff about sharing and caring, although those are there too and there’s no getting away from that; but the prerogative of hidden potential which can only translate in to new experiences.

And what are new experiences except chances to augment and improve the quality of life? Solitary confinement works (or doesn’t depending on you’re your point of view) precisely because of this: cut-off from the communication and forced to remain suddenly alone in a universe.

The greater waste of time that happens here however is generally overlooked or not even considered. That’s the time which got used up in the process of establishing the original relationship.

Where alienated offsprings are concerned, it was the time spent growing up together;

For estranged mates, it could be a long love affair; I case of separated friends, a long time consuming development period.

So, a time might come and one might ask, “Why the heck did I waste time to begin with it at all?” In other words, no apology is too late to render, or accept, without a sense of victory or loss.

Well, endings might be beginnings to new events, but what about holding onto already existing relationships? It takes a toll on one’s mental calibre to keep up a relation loving and blossoming and up.

Courtesy – some article I read by some mukul, n me:)

The Dumbest thing 1

The Dumbest thing is to…..
…..is to waste your time 😛

This might sound glib, but two people especially friends, relatives, or partners not talking to one another over a mutually perceived slight, is a complete waste of time.

Obviously it follows, that the longer they remain incommunicado and persona non grata, vis- a-vis each other, the more time they must be wasting.

Yet people are capable of speding years. even tens of them, and often close to or including a lifetime, that’s left to them without resuming any form of relationship with the other.
When and if they manage to get away successfully, it;’s because each believes the other is to blame without thinking that it takes two wrongs to make a third.

So, whose time is being wasted?

Clearly, not the rest of the world’s because that has its own demands to deal with

Clearly, not that of one’s immediate folks and kin since they too eventually abdicate any concern they might have initially harboured.

What’s clear, in fact, is such people are just wasting their own time. Not that they have an unlimited time in store!

One way to look at it is to reckon the futility of lost opportunity. Relationships can be rich in the responses they evoke – not just trite stuff about sharing and caring, although those are there too and there’s no getting away from that; but the prerogative of hidden potential which can only translate in to new experiences.

And what are new experiences except chances to augment and improve the quality of life? Solitary confinement works (or doesn’t depending on you’re your point of view) precisely because of this: cut-off from the communication and forced to remain suddenly alone in a universe.

The greater waste of time that happens here however is generally overlooked or not even considered. That’s the time which got used up in the process of establishing the original relationship.

Where alienated offsprings are concerned, it was the time spent growing up together;

For estranged mates, it could be a long love affair; I case of separated friends, a long time consuming development period.

So, a time might come and one might ask, “Why the heck did I waste time to begin with it at all?” In other words, no apology is too late to render, or accept, without a sense of victory or loss.

Well, endings might be beginnings to new events, but what about holding onto already existing relationships? It takes a toll on one’s mental calibre to keep up a relation loving and blossoming and up.

Courtesy – some article I read by some mukul, n me:)